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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Emotions - who needs them?!

Last night I watched “Generations” a Star Trek movie. I don’t know if that’s really the title but it’s the direct translation from the Polish one. I realize I’m a little behind the times. It was done in 1994 but I didn’t manage to see it before I came to Poland. Yes, I’m a Trekie but not hard core, obviously!

I particularly liked one scene with Data and Cap. Picard. Data has had an emotion chip put in that has become fused and can’t be removed. He’s overwhelmed with emotions and can’t perform his duties. He begs to be deactivated so he can be put out of his misery. Of course, Cap. Picard in his fatherly way tells him – this is part of being a human and that also means going on with life dealing as best we can with the emotions and through them. Then tells him he needs his assistance and orders him back to work – which he bravely does!

Emotions – the voice of the heart. Sometimes my heart has many conflicting things to say! How does hope, disappointment, feelings of rejection, encouragement, love, just to name a few, reside in the same place? There have been times throughout my life that I have wished I could “kill” my hope. It seemed like a merciful thing to have happen. But I’m so thankful God has never allowed that. I don’t always understand why something is happening or understand my emotions around it. Sometimes I do something so I won’t have any regrets, not having done it. Then I seem to end up having regrets because it’s opened up another can of worms. Life is very often a mystery to me and my reactions to it! But I remember Romans 5:2-5: “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

I felt sorry for Data, having all those emotions come flooding in. But I want to live from the heart and hold on to hope!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

My Attitude and Plans

Do your days always go as planned? If so please write me and tell me how you do it!! But I think no matter where one lives in the world – the unexpected happens. Sometimes it’s a refreshing change of plans, sometimes a crisis and sometimes just a nuisance. In the end it’s all about my attitude. How flexible am I and creative in further planning?

Neither of these traits has been at its fullest lately I’m sorry to say. I’ve stayed mildly frustrated and actually without a desire to do anything. But because of this I’ve paid more attention to the little things. What things might happen through the day to touch my attitude?

A cup of coffee and a relaxed morning – maybe even two cups!
Watching our one year old cat chase her tail on top of a chair and trying not to fall off!
A beautiful sunny day with a view of snowcapped mountains.
A fire in the fireplace and reading a good book.
Not setting my alarm!
A warm, sunny afternoon, a European sidewalk café, a taste treat and of course a cup of coffee.

In some respects I feel a little like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music with her “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens …..” But it’s important to celebrate the little things in life, I think. Life goes by quickly and it’s not always easy either. I need to take, at least a few seconds, to acknowledge these little things that can put a smile on my face or produce a sigh of contentment. Otherwise, I find myself harried, impatient and too often frustrated by not getting everything done that I’d planned.

As each day goes by, I realize on deeper and deeper levels that life is not just about me and my little plans! It’s amazing how small and petty I have been and can be. I do want to be available to God and the plans he has for my day. Please pray for flexibility and balance in my life.