Brief Update

It’s been a week already since I last wrote. Where does the time go? I’m on furlough with no specific daily routine but I still don’t understand how the time slips away. But I’ve been able to go on long walks with the dog, Dundee. I’ve done baking with the girls of the family I’m staying with, gone to a birthday brunch, read lots and gone to the movies with 9 others! I’m grateful for being included and the time on my own. There are a lot of ups and downs, tears and laughter. Nevertheless, I’m thankful for the relationships that are growing here and for the broad place God has provided for this time of restoration.

I continue to be torn because other people I love are far away. So I’m learning how to truly entrust others to Jesus. I’m not sure why that is so hard. After all, he knows them better, is able to do all things and loves them with an everlasting love! Who is better than Jesus?! Certainly not me! But relationships are important and a treasure. I'm thankful even though torn.

Sharing a Cup

Time for coffee, literally, is very important to me. Of course, the little jolt one gets to jump start the day or the jolt to keep going are just a couple of the reasons I drink the stuff. But when I really take the time to enjoy my cup, I’d much rather be drinking with someone. Now that I’m in Switzerland for a bit I’m able to have coffee with people I rarely am able to share this simple pleasure. On the other hand, I miss having coffee with my friends in Poland and still have to look forward to sharing a cup with people in Seattle. I wish I could gather around me in one place all those dear to my heart then I wouldn’t feel so torn.

For me the challenge in this situation is to truly remain open and vulnerable. With my heart in several places, I tend to be protective of it so that it can survive being “split.” But God is faithful to remind me that when I try to protect my heart, I end up hiding it away or holding back and this is my idea of protecting it. I don’t know any other way of protecting it. I’m so thankful God is greater than I and has higher ways than mine. Because my way automatically reduces my openness and vulnerability. I need to actively decide for vulnerability since it is not my automatic reaction. But in the end, the joy I reap and deep connections with others are well worth it. This is a “public” decision to keep deciding for openness and vulnerability.

Laughter is always necessary!

I want to write more soon so you know a bit more about what's happening. In brief it's been a tough end to the week as God is bringing out somethings he wants to clear away in me. So there have been some tears as I see things in me I don't want. I look forward to God's good work.

At the same time, I have been reading some in the 'Prairie Home Companion's Pretty Good Joke Book', because it's important to laugh. I thought I'd share a few.

Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig!
(So remember your view of something just depends on your perspective!)

If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.

How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
Why?
It just does, OK?

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

I hope you enjoyed at least one or two. They're kind of silly but all in good fun.

First Full Week

This past week each day has been new for me because each day has had a new routine to experience. It’s been the first full week of my “regular” schedule and trying to keep up with all the goings on of a family with 4 active kids! There are cello and electric guitar lessons, gymnastics, dog training school, and soccer just to name a few.

Earlier in the week I gave the kids some small presents that I brought with me from Poland. Sabina helped me pick everything out and I wouldn’t have been as successful as I was without her suggestions! Not all of them were really classically Polish as it is difficult to find Polish things that would interest kids. But the gifts seemed well received and the next day I got a thank you picture from the youngest. Kayla is 6 and one of the things she got was a soft dog coin purse. Well, she drew me a picture of a couple of dogs and wrote at the top of the page “senkiufor dis dag – vram Kayla”. Now if you need an English – English translation it is: thank you for this dog – from Kayla. So for sure that gift was a hit! (Thanks Sabina!)

Weekend Conference

This weekend I was able to attend a Christian conference in Basel which had either English speakers or translation from German. There were about 300 people and because of the connections in Switzerland over the past couple of years I knew quite a few people. I loved the corporate worship and the teaching. And I can still find it surprising how God works. One speaker referred to a verse in Habakkuk which I turned to and then left my Bible open to that page. Later I glanced down and my eyes went to another verse. There were no lights flashing neither did the verse seem to jump off the page at me; but nevertheless, it spoke to me of my situation. The verse is Hakakkuk 2:1 - "I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the Lord will say to me and how he will answer my complaint."

This is definitely a time of waiting on the Lord for me, to receive and get some answers. But I wondered if 'complaint' was really the word that fit. After thinking about that for myself and reading Habakkuk's complaint, I had to admit I did have complaints that needed God's answers. Sometimes I surprise myself because I don't even know all that's going on inside of me. And after all, it's hard to get answers to all my questions if I don't know what they are! There were other scriptures and ideas in the teachings that were also an encouragement. I'm thankful that God is already speaking and leading me to a place where I can hear his answers.

Arrival in Switzerland

I've arrived in Switzerland for my extended stay (furlough) of 6 months. (I will be in Seattle for Christmas and most of January.) I wandered around downtown Bern and I think I put on 10 pounds just looking at all the pastries, cheesecakes and chocolates. They all looked delicious and incredibly fattening! I wish I still had the metabolism I had in high school!

It actually was a little overwhelming even though I love being in a big city. I love the energy, options and so many sites, sounds and smells bombarding the senses. To get "centered" a bit I went to Starbucks and I thoroughly enjoyed my caramel macchiato! Probably the prices, most of all, are the most unsettling and overwhelming. They don't even begin to compare with Polish prices! Before when I was in Switzerland it was for a vacation or a conference of a very short duration so I could splurge some and just enjoy it. Now that's changed and my perspective as well.

I'm so glad to be staying with a family outside of Bern (5 miles). Here is the best of both worlds. I can choose to go into the city, only a 15 minute bus ride, or take a walk and enjoy a view of the mountains. That doesn't cost a thing and is valuable beyond price. Plus, "the girls" - Dorothea (mom), Annina (11), Laura (9), Kayla (6) and I played a game after dinner today. Playing games in a family of this age is not what I get to do normally so that too was fun.

Sundays

Sunday, it’s a good day. I love Sundays. Perhaps the only thing I don’t like is getting up at 7am. I am not much of a morning person. So although I don’t like getting up that early, if I don’t, then I don’t have enough time to “wrap my mind around” the meeting at 10:30. Our group that meets on Sunday is like family to me. And I feel privileged that they want me to share something of what I’ve learned in my relationship with God.
After I return home, about 1pm, then the whole day stretches before me – completely free. It’s the only time of the week where I put absolutely no pressure on myself to “be productive” somehow. I’m not saying that I’m working all the rest of the time through the week! I often decide it’s time to stop and then I watch a movie or read or something. Or I procrastinate like everyone else. But I love Sundays!

Daily Decisions

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Psalm 31:14, 15 NLT

Yesterday was a tough day. My computer wasn’t working properly. I was uninspired while trying to write a long overdue newsletter. Everything seemed a great effort to do. Emotions were at a low level.
Today has started off better with a bit more drive and energy. I was actually reading Psalm 34 today but the 2 verses above, from Ps. 31, caught my eye. They seem to sum up my position these days. I feel a little lost about the future but am so thankful that it is in God’s hands. And I decide again and again to trust him. The enemies the verse talks about, for me, are the enemies within. My emotions can really be out of whack these days, too often for my liking, maybe it’s the age. In any case, I fight discouragement, undesirability, and listlessness, for example. Guarding my heart is essential as it is the wellspring of life – Prov. 4:23.
Please know that I have good days too!! And generally speaking, I’m so thankful for the life God has given me. My new “family” here in Poland gives me much joy and comfort.
I’m very glad today is a new day! And I can make good decisions for guarding my heart.