Coffee and the Expat (?) Process

As is my usual procedure, I discuss the locale's coffee situation wherever I travel. However, I have been unable to complete my sampling -- until I got home! Merida, in the end, did rise to suitable standards, despite the disparaging beginning of Nescafe instant. :( There was a very nice specialty coffee place, selling hot, iced, and blended coffee drinks, along with sandwiches and treats -- La Boheme. Some of the coffee drinks were too high in other flavors and over the top in calories, but I didn't have to order them! :) At a couple of other restaurants I received very good espresso, and as you know, learned how to order it with just a little milk -- "cortado."

Although, I had to wait until home before I could make some specialty coffee that I bought there. It is called De Olla and it is particular to the Yucatan, as I understand it. It comes ground with cinnamon and sugar. While chatting, I shared some with a friend. I have to say it was suspect even upon opening the bag -- the mixture was not remotely dark and rich as I like my coffee beans. Sure there is cinnamon added but... Neither one of us would really call it a coffee drink, even though there was a hint of coffee. There was a very pleasant sweet and spicy flavor that was really more tea like, in my opinion. So not objectionable but definitely not coffee!

We are so glad we finally made it to Merida after all the research we'd done. Even before going though, we had pretty much decided it would be too hot for us. Assumption confirmed! We loved the city and the people, so warm and welcoming. Unfortunately Brian did not feel well most of the time we were there. :( It's virtually impossible to know why, exactly. However, the experience alone spoke volumes to both of us. When this happens, and it will from time to time, do we want to be in a foreign country struggling to communicate, or just without our little conveniences that make life easier?

We really thought Panama was next on the list. Now we are looking within the boundaries of "home." Although, nothing is settled until we are settled. We are still in no rush to make a decision, but we hope the house is ready to go up for sale by the end of April. It's still an adventure even within the States. We just don't have to do it in another language.

What a Process!

I've mentioned that we have a new adventure ahead of us, namely selling the house and looking for our new home. It all started 13+ months ago!

Did we decide to move that long ago? Absolutely not! It began by randomly watching a House Hunters International show - a fractional ownership of a vacation home. I didn't know such a thing existed. I'd heard of timeshares but had no interest in that.  It's important for Brian to travel during the bad weather months, perhaps then get some relief. He can at least be warm, and there comes an emotional renewal with the traveling even if it's not a cure. In any case, we travel. Can we spend less in the long run with fractional ownership than by spending money on hotels and restaurant food? An interesting prospect and I went to work researching.

The Internet is Great for Research!

No such luck finding that kind of ownership in the area we liked to return and visit. Hmmm. Could we buy something out right and then rent it the rest of the time, having it pay for itself? We like the Caribbean, doesn't everyone?! Checked out that for awhile but couldn't seem to make that work either. The prices were just on the edge of possible, but the consistency of rental income was doubtful.

Shifting gears and locations, we found some other areas that were beautiful, more affordable and quite rural. I thought, "Why not? This area is nice, too!" Then, one evening Brian and I "took a walk" via Google maps, and looked up and down the streets. Yup, very rural, no cute little cafes, and seemingly very quiet, too quiet. I'm not so big on the nightlife scene at this point in life but even I think I would be bored there. The beach is wonderful but...

Brian had always talked about this city about 20k inland, though I had never paid much attention. It was inland. I wanted the beach. Maybe I should take a look. After all, it's only 20k away from the beach. What's a half an hour travel?!

The process, thus far, takes us about 5 or 6 months into the past 13+ months. To be continued. :-)

(It did get continued! See Adventure's Roadmap - The Process Part 2)

Life with Brian - Part 2

We are out of our regular routine these past few days since we are in WA visiting family. We got to see our daughter's engagement ring IRL (in real life), at the moment Brian is out having some Father - Son time with our youngest, and earlier we celebrated Brian and my mother’s birthdays together. These are all wonderful events and certainly meant to be shared. Although I have to say I love our “regular” life as well.

Today I thought I’d continue a bit with “Life with Brian” (and living with someone with a chronic illness.) We are well into the winter season which does change our pace of life and possible expectations. Can I say our life is more volatile? I don’t think that’s an inappropriate word for the season, but only because of the storms - and I’m talking about the weather, folks!! No, we do not become more volatile with one another! :-) That would just be wasted energy - no room for that!

Weather patterns during the winter are just more unpredictable so Brian’s energy, pain and motivation levels fluctuate a lot more. Therefore, frustration with the situations, and blahs can dictate more than we’d like. (Of course, I can have my own blahs during the winter, too.) There are two aspects during Brian’s challenging season for me that are the most difficult. The first is that I can’t do anything to “fix” the situation. I would love it if I could suggest something or do something that would make him feel better. I don’t know exactly what he feels since I’m not inside his body, but even if I could know I still can’t change it. It’s always difficult to watch someone you love suffer. I can be there for him and listen IF he wants to talk but no expectations.

Secondly, there are times when I miss him. Oh, he can be sitting right next to me but he’s not himself. His pain, or fatigue, or blahs require his full focus just to get through the rough spot. Thankfully for all, those times don’t last too long - a day or two. I probably I miss him more during those tough times than when we are actually apart. I think that’s true because it is then that both difficult aspects come together for me.

All in all, I have no complaints because health issues are our only issue. We are both easy going and have a sense of humor. In my opinion, those are a couple of the key factors in a successful relationship. We appreciate the little things in life, look forward to the good times, try to live in the present, and be thankful - especially for each other!

Life with Brian!

I have one word that describes life with Brian - awesome! No really! Perhaps you have deduced from my blog that I'm neither a particular romantic or prone to rose colored glasses. I wouldn't even call myself an optimist, rather a realist. Brian is more romantic than I am! Is Brian perfect? - NO. No one is! Is life perfect with him? Yes and no.

I said that I would write more about loving someone with a chronic illness (Gulf War Illness), so here goes. First, let me add another word that is very important, in our marriage at least. That is the word "flexibility." It is difficult to describe the various feelings and symptoms that Brian experiences, even for Brian. Suffice to say that he suffers, some days more than others, though no one would know it to look at him. Does he know when the bad days are coming? Generally not. Although, he does better or worse in differing seasons of the year. Due to the cold and greater number of storm patterns, winter is not his best season. However, there can still be good days during the winter.

So what does that all mean for he and I, together? We both need to be flexible. Sometimes we plan to do something but he wakes up that day and it's not a good one. OK, that activity is not going to happen that day. That's just the way it is. If Brian pushes himself on a bad day to do whatever because it's planned, it usually backfires. He could go into a crash which is more intense and lasts longer. It's so not worth it! Or, if the day and it's activity can be adapted so the pace is slower and more relaxed that sometimes works. With that in mind, the third word I've needed to incorporate more into my life is "spontaneity." (I think Brian was always more spontaneous than I.) When it's a good day then the activity will happen. We can't always know when that is. However, over time, I've learned not to be so disappointed when something doesn't happen because it will; I just don't know when. Plus, Brian will often make suggestions of things to do at the spur of the moment. Why not?! Take the adventure and the good days when they arrive. Planning can be overrated!

There is more to write, which I will, but we'll start with this.
Update: Part 2 of Life with Brian click here.

In Times of Jetlag

As I begin writing this, it's about a quarter to eight in the morning. I've already been awake for over 3.5 hours. I saw the time on that clock come and go. Trust me, these are not my typical hours!! The house is cold because the heater isn't programmed to come on yet. I've watched the sky grow bright and the neighborhood slowly come to life. Usually I watch the surrounding area shut down for the night rather than separately share with them a cup of very early morning coffee.

Often Brian is up at these wee hours of the morning but that is because he has yet to be able to go to sleep. Besides being negatively affected by cold weather, this inability to sleep is another aspect of the Gulf War Syndrome for him. I can't imagine. :( Although, thankfully, he has been able to sleep fairly well these past couple of nights.

As I deal with jetlag, these past few mornings have been very quiet and reflective. There certainly is no rush to move into the day since it really hasn't started (except on the east coast or in Europe)! Thoughts, prayers and activities take on a different tone or quality in the early hours for me. I feel settled, peaceful and also the longings for continued adventure, inspiration and growth come more easily to the forefront. Perhaps those feelings could be viewed as the antithesis of being settled and at peace. They don't feel opposite to me. I think it is because I feel settled, safe that I can allow those feelings to surface. I love the mixture; it's exhilarating! The questions or longings don't need closure for me, meaning - what is the adventure? What will happen in the future? I love it all because it's a hunger that keeps me looking, investigating and hopeful. How can I be disappointed in life since I'm actively participating in it?! I do expect tunnels, bumps and sharp curves along the road but...!

The Closest to My Heart

I leave today for Poland! My girl, Sabina, is getting married!! OK, she's not "my girl" but the heart strings are definitely there. I'm going a week before the wedding so that I can be totally available to her. Granted at this point pretty much everything has already been done, but maybe she'll just need to get away and have a cup of calming tea (as opposed to coffee!) and we can have a chat. I've already seen her in her wedding dress and cried so that event is past. Not so sure it won't happen again, though! Wow, lots of emotions, all good ones for this wonderful happening.

Brian isn't going with me. :( He would love to be there that's for sure. Though this time of year, the fact that it's colder weather in Poland, would make for a miserable feeling Brian. Brian served in the Gulf War and is one of the many soldiers who returned with Gulf War Syndrome - the media's term. So life drastically changed for him and, in his case, cold weather does not help in the least. I will write more in the future about loving someone with a chronic illness but that's for later. You can also check out his blog - Brian's Gate.
I miss Brian already but am so excited for Sabina and Chris. Can't wait to give Sabina a big hug!