Sharing a Cup

Time for coffee, literally, is very important to me. Of course, the little jolt one gets to jump start the day or the jolt to keep going are just a couple of the reasons I drink the stuff. But when I really take the time to enjoy my cup, I’d much rather be drinking with someone. Now that I’m in Switzerland for a bit I’m able to have coffee with people I rarely am able to share this simple pleasure. On the other hand, I miss having coffee with my friends in Poland and still have to look forward to sharing a cup with people in Seattle. I wish I could gather around me in one place all those dear to my heart then I wouldn’t feel so torn.

For me the challenge in this situation is to truly remain open and vulnerable. With my heart in several places, I tend to be protective of it so that it can survive being “split.” But God is faithful to remind me that when I try to protect my heart, I end up hiding it away or holding back and this is my idea of protecting it. I don’t know any other way of protecting it. I’m so thankful God is greater than I and has higher ways than mine. Because my way automatically reduces my openness and vulnerability. I need to actively decide for vulnerability since it is not my automatic reaction. But in the end, the joy I reap and deep connections with others are well worth it. This is a “public” decision to keep deciding for openness and vulnerability.

Laughter is always necessary!

I want to write more soon so you know a bit more about what's happening. In brief it's been a tough end to the week as God is bringing out somethings he wants to clear away in me. So there have been some tears as I see things in me I don't want. I look forward to God's good work.

At the same time, I have been reading some in the 'Prairie Home Companion's Pretty Good Joke Book', because it's important to laugh. I thought I'd share a few.

Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig!
(So remember your view of something just depends on your perspective!)

If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.

How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
Why?
It just does, OK?

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

I hope you enjoyed at least one or two. They're kind of silly but all in good fun.

First Full Week

This past week each day has been new for me because each day has had a new routine to experience. It’s been the first full week of my “regular” schedule and trying to keep up with all the goings on of a family with 4 active kids! There are cello and electric guitar lessons, gymnastics, dog training school, and soccer just to name a few.

Earlier in the week I gave the kids some small presents that I brought with me from Poland. Sabina helped me pick everything out and I wouldn’t have been as successful as I was without her suggestions! Not all of them were really classically Polish as it is difficult to find Polish things that would interest kids. But the gifts seemed well received and the next day I got a thank you picture from the youngest. Kayla is 6 and one of the things she got was a soft dog coin purse. Well, she drew me a picture of a couple of dogs and wrote at the top of the page “senkiufor dis dag – vram Kayla”. Now if you need an English – English translation it is: thank you for this dog – from Kayla. So for sure that gift was a hit! (Thanks Sabina!)

Weekend Conference

This weekend I was able to attend a Christian conference in Basel which had either English speakers or translation from German. There were about 300 people and because of the connections in Switzerland over the past couple of years I knew quite a few people. I loved the corporate worship and the teaching. And I can still find it surprising how God works. One speaker referred to a verse in Habakkuk which I turned to and then left my Bible open to that page. Later I glanced down and my eyes went to another verse. There were no lights flashing neither did the verse seem to jump off the page at me; but nevertheless, it spoke to me of my situation. The verse is Hakakkuk 2:1 - "I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the Lord will say to me and how he will answer my complaint."

This is definitely a time of waiting on the Lord for me, to receive and get some answers. But I wondered if 'complaint' was really the word that fit. After thinking about that for myself and reading Habakkuk's complaint, I had to admit I did have complaints that needed God's answers. Sometimes I surprise myself because I don't even know all that's going on inside of me. And after all, it's hard to get answers to all my questions if I don't know what they are! There were other scriptures and ideas in the teachings that were also an encouragement. I'm thankful that God is already speaking and leading me to a place where I can hear his answers.

Arrival in Switzerland

I've arrived in Switzerland for my extended stay (furlough) of 6 months. (I will be in Seattle for Christmas and most of January.) I wandered around downtown Bern and I think I put on 10 pounds just looking at all the pastries, cheesecakes and chocolates. They all looked delicious and incredibly fattening! I wish I still had the metabolism I had in high school!

It actually was a little overwhelming even though I love being in a big city. I love the energy, options and so many sites, sounds and smells bombarding the senses. To get "centered" a bit I went to Starbucks and I thoroughly enjoyed my caramel macchiato! Probably the prices, most of all, are the most unsettling and overwhelming. They don't even begin to compare with Polish prices! Before when I was in Switzerland it was for a vacation or a conference of a very short duration so I could splurge some and just enjoy it. Now that's changed and my perspective as well.

I'm so glad to be staying with a family outside of Bern (5 miles). Here is the best of both worlds. I can choose to go into the city, only a 15 minute bus ride, or take a walk and enjoy a view of the mountains. That doesn't cost a thing and is valuable beyond price. Plus, "the girls" - Dorothea (mom), Annina (11), Laura (9), Kayla (6) and I played a game after dinner today. Playing games in a family of this age is not what I get to do normally so that too was fun.

Sundays

Sunday, it’s a good day. I love Sundays. Perhaps the only thing I don’t like is getting up at 7am. I am not much of a morning person. So although I don’t like getting up that early, if I don’t, then I don’t have enough time to “wrap my mind around” the meeting at 10:30. Our group that meets on Sunday is like family to me. And I feel privileged that they want me to share something of what I’ve learned in my relationship with God.
After I return home, about 1pm, then the whole day stretches before me – completely free. It’s the only time of the week where I put absolutely no pressure on myself to “be productive” somehow. I’m not saying that I’m working all the rest of the time through the week! I often decide it’s time to stop and then I watch a movie or read or something. Or I procrastinate like everyone else. But I love Sundays!

Daily Decisions

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Psalm 31:14, 15 NLT

Yesterday was a tough day. My computer wasn’t working properly. I was uninspired while trying to write a long overdue newsletter. Everything seemed a great effort to do. Emotions were at a low level.
Today has started off better with a bit more drive and energy. I was actually reading Psalm 34 today but the 2 verses above, from Ps. 31, caught my eye. They seem to sum up my position these days. I feel a little lost about the future but am so thankful that it is in God’s hands. And I decide again and again to trust him. The enemies the verse talks about, for me, are the enemies within. My emotions can really be out of whack these days, too often for my liking, maybe it’s the age. In any case, I fight discouragement, undesirability, and listlessness, for example. Guarding my heart is essential as it is the wellspring of life – Prov. 4:23.
Please know that I have good days too!! And generally speaking, I’m so thankful for the life God has given me. My new “family” here in Poland gives me much joy and comfort.
I’m very glad today is a new day! And I can make good decisions for guarding my heart.

Emotions - who needs them?!

Last night I watched “Generations” a Star Trek movie. I don’t know if that’s really the title but it’s the direct translation from the Polish one. I realize I’m a little behind the times. It was done in 1994 but I didn’t manage to see it before I came to Poland. Yes, I’m a Trekie but not hard core, obviously!

I particularly liked one scene with Data and Cap. Picard. Data has had an emotion chip put in that has become fused and can’t be removed. He’s overwhelmed with emotions and can’t perform his duties. He begs to be deactivated so he can be put out of his misery. Of course, Cap. Picard in his fatherly way tells him – this is part of being a human and that also means going on with life dealing as best we can with the emotions and through them. Then tells him he needs his assistance and orders him back to work – which he bravely does!

Emotions – the voice of the heart. Sometimes my heart has many conflicting things to say! How does hope, disappointment, feelings of rejection, encouragement, love, just to name a few, reside in the same place? There have been times throughout my life that I have wished I could “kill” my hope. It seemed like a merciful thing to have happen. But I’m so thankful God has never allowed that. I don’t always understand why something is happening or understand my emotions around it. Sometimes I do something so I won’t have any regrets, not having done it. Then I seem to end up having regrets because it’s opened up another can of worms. Life is very often a mystery to me and my reactions to it! But I remember Romans 5:2-5: “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

I felt sorry for Data, having all those emotions come flooding in. But I want to live from the heart and hold on to hope!