Wide-eyed Wonder

OK, seriously it's been a REALLY long time since I blogged! I checked out a new blog to me - Emma's Adventures . It's a child's blog so her mom "helps" her out a bit! Quite delightful though as we try to see life through a child's eyes. I wouldn't want to go back in time if you paid me but there is still something of that era worth holding on to. What wide-eyed wonder and enthusiasm! Total abandonment and focus on whatever they are doing.
Me - I can get so distracted. Sometimes it feels like there are a million things running through my head. Nothing much that is profound or probably of any great substance either. Nonetheless, it flits through and I'm distracted, and if anyone were to ask me what some of that stuff was... Well, at this stage of my life who can remember!!
I think guys can generally be more focused than women. As Brian puts it, it can be like ripping velcro to peel him off something he's really focused on to bring his attention to something else! However, male or female, as adults we could embrace a bit more wide-eyed wonder and enthusiasm. At least I could. There is a lot to jade us in life or even just the mundane to bury us in survival mode. Take time for a cup of coffee with a friend! (A shameless promotion of my favorite beverage!) A beautiful sunset (rarely can I enjoy a sunrise - it's before my coffee!) Or take a bit from Emma - put everything aside and do something creative. She likes to paint. And of course there is the joy of a new pair of shoes!! You get the idea! :-)

Shooting!

Tomorrow is a day begging to be shot! I'm getting back to my photography roots. It's been a long time. How did that aspect of me slip away? Actually it's not too much of a mystery but the times they are a changin'! Let's hope I walk away with one or two really good shots!

A Time of Promise

It's been a few days of gray, rain and relative cold. Now today the sun is out and I feel new promise inside. Sometimes I wonder if I would really catch these stirrings in me if I weren't writing, checking in with myself.
There has been a lot of changes in my life the past couple of years - by-in-large very positive! Let's see, a brief list: I got married, moved, got sick (for a year), marched into menopause, left the church I'd been attending for 5 years (still no settling somewhere else) and started a business (now a bit in limbo). My life's "routine" is difficult to pin down and there are aspects that seem to be in "no man's land" that is to say they are unfinished. I'm in the midst of an adventure where it's logical to imagine both blahness and the feelings of hope and promise exist, especially for a woman going through menopause! :)
Today is a good day as everyday is - I'm just able to see it better and experience it more fully in that way! It's OK to be blah. I like this better, though. I just want to be faithful through it all. The promise is before me and I'm moving forward.

Update Report

It's true; I wouldn't say I feel like I did on Wednesday. The blahness is not so acute. No big drive to do something either. Painting has been put aside for the time being, and yet I know when it gets done it will be such a huge relief!
My car still hasn't sold yet. We do so hope to get a good price for it, but as time goes by... In any case, we will see what the Lord has for us. We've had a couple of nibbles but they have changed their minds (for different reasons) even before seeing the car. :(
We also started a 6 week Bible study at a new church. We have moved on from the one we used to attend so a new adventure awaits us. I enjoyed the first meeting and getting to know a few people. We're still not sure exactly where the Lord is leading us but no matter what I look forward to this first step and the people He'll bring across our path.

Blah

There have been some very positive posts, some just informative and others somewhat reflective. You should also know there are very blah days, as well. This is one of them so instead of not writing because there isn't anything 'exciting' to write - I'm letting you know it's a day of blahness (new word) and lack of motivation. After all, you experience days like these, don't you? I guess if you don't - don't tell me! That might slip my blah days to the depression side.
My house is still half painted and let me tell you I am BORED with the painting of molding in particular. I could paint but there again that lack of motivation is kicking in or rather blanketing any desire. I love the results of fresh paint although...at the moment...
General cleaning is needed as we are having guests this weekend, however,...
I did walk over 2 miles today but...
I really think this is a day for the sun, reading and playing! No, probably not with any gusto because I'm too blah, nevertheless...
It is absolutely gorgeous outside, I have to say. That really helps on days like these. I'm so thankful God continually gives us a new day, new possibilities, and the potential for a new outlook! I don't have to be stuck or resigned to anything. Tomorrow is a new day!

Downsizing

Got a new car!! Well, new to us. :) Lately we've been rather consumed with car shopping. What kind of car fits who we are, as a couple? Then, what make of car fits that description? Finally, what's out there and what can we afford? We brought 2 cars into this marriage. Brian - a sports car, a very nice one! Carol - practical, economic car with a little zip or flare, if you will! Saturday we traded in Brian's car for a Nissan Rogue. This week my car gets cleaned up and put on Craig's List. No favoritism here. Both cars are going so we will have one for the both of us.
Part of the reason for our change is something that fits us both. But we also have traveling as a priority. In order to do that we have to downsize and cut some corners to make it financially possible. In life it just seems time and time again that flexibility is the name of the game! I don't mind doing what's necessary for us to travel! I love traveling or at least being somewhere different. We both love the Rogue and are totally satisfied. Yes, we have to keep track of our schedules a bit more with only one car but it's a small price to pay!
We are well cared for!

A Day of Rest

Having been a Christian most of my life or for that matter having grown up in America it seems the concept of a day of rest has always been a part of my existence - the concept not necessarily the reality!
At different points in my life I have tried to implement the concept and take one day a week for 'rest.' Maybe I did a good job maybe I didn't, I don't remember. But I think what's changed now is my idea of work, what it means to rest and why it's a good idea. Subconsciously I think I've found it difficult to completely take time off. "Oh, I can put in a load of laundry. That doesn't take much effort - the machine does most of the work!" Or, because I had slowed down enough in one day I looked around at the cleaning that was needed and thought, "Well, now I have time to do some of that!" Those examples are just a glimpse into my thought processes. With this thinking I could still be productive somehow. It's amazing to me how much "being productive" can drive me, even in little ways. It's sad how that productivity gives me value, in my mind anyway.
I mentioned on Labor Day weekend I did not do one job or task at all on Sunday. The day was a matter of rest and people. Realizing how I had to fight the urge to do "a little something" I decided to really take a day and not do any projects big or small, no errands, or "accomplishments". I'm trying to continue this (without legalism creeping in!). It's only been a short while but I want this to last. For me, it doesn't matter what day I take off, although it usually is either Saturday or Sunday depending on plans. Rest is important and I'm valuable whether I produce or accomplish something or not.
I'm not writing to guilt anyone. I am just personally trying to fight my performance based love concept. God doesn't love me that way, based on what I do. So why should I love myself that way!?

Breathe

Life seems to be full at the moment. More accurately I should say that my heart is full. Nothing so earthshaking or out of the ordinary has happened, except I did go ziplining in the redwoods the other day - what a blast!! Otherwise days have been a mixture of yes, the mundane (!), also people, interior painting (while Brian is painting the railing and staining the deck outside) and relaxing moments that make me breathe a sign of contentment. For example:
The weather has turned glorious here (we are finally having our summer) so on Thursday Brian suggests taking our regular walk on the beach in the evening to see the sunset. To round off a wonderful and spontaneous date night we went a little earlier and got a slice of pizza and a glass of wine at a little hole in the wall place before walking down to the beach for the sunset. After ziplining the next day we came back to the house and enjoyed our "new" deck, watching the moon rise - a full moon even - while talking and eating some munchies. These are sweet moments in life and they make my heart full. Life precludes these moments from happening on a regular and predictable schedule but then that makes me aware of them all the more and appreciate them to no end!