A Bit about My Plans

Hi again, this time from Switzerland. I feel a bit like a ping pong ball, bouncing back and forth between Poland, the US and Switzerland these past 6 months. I can’t say that this time period in my life has been easy, comfortable or predictable. However, it has been fruitful and has brought clarity regarding parts of my past and to a certain degree clarity for my future. So who could complain about that? Quite the contrary, I’m so thankful to have this time of break / furlough. God has been very gracious during this time so my emotions and thoughts could have time to catch up with each other. There has been some healing and a greater discovery of my heart. I feel a bit more ‘aligned’ now although tears can still leap to the surface at surprising times. Even so, I’m confident I’m making some good choices for myself, despite the fact that those same decisions can be painful.

I’ve made plane reservations to go back to Poland for the final packing up. This is at the end of June. (More good-byes to say in Switzerland.) And then back to Seattle for a short while on July 11th. I have no idea what really awaits me in Santa Cruz, CA which is where God has led me to settle, at least for a while. Oh, sure I have a few ideas of possibilities but I don’t count on those actually becoming reality. God has plans too and I may not be thinking in the right direction yet because I have to be in Santa Cruz first before I’ll ‘get it.’ I do know that it is my intention to finish a book I’ve started to write. I started this book 3 or 4 years ago. But I hadn’t written anything for the 2 years prior to coming to Switzerland in October. I don’t know what the final outcome will be for this book but it’s important for me to finish it.

I’ve learned a lot during this time. I believe, even more than I realize. It is certainly more than I can put into words. But I don’t have to worry about that because God has put it in my heart so that the Holy Spirit can bring about growth. And we all know, “it is out of the heart that the mouth speaks.”

Oh wow! the changes that are coming!

It’s been difficult to write lately because I needed to let everyone know the decisions I’ve made that affect my future via personal contact, phone or newsletter before writing in my blog. So much of my time has been consumed by a mixture of deep emotions, organizing life’s details and packing. Why? Because God has shown me that I’m to return to the States. My role in Poland is finished.

The nature of the beast within resists change. Even though our past has been painful and in some ways unrewarding and perhaps even unproductive, it would be interesting to know how many of us would rather return to our past than face the uncertainty of our future. Being creatures of habit, we would rather have the security of our yesterday than the uncertainty of our tomorrow.
But it’s the uncertainty of our future that really strengthens our faith. I mean, if we knew what it was all about, then it would take no faith. All it would take is obedience. If you knew what was going to happen in the next ten years of your life, what kind of faith would it take to walk that path?
It’s the mystery of it all that gives it the power, the mystery of the whole process called God’s working that makes the power so magnificent.

This is a quote from a daily reading book by Charles Swindoll. I don’t mean to say that my time in Poland has been unrewarding, quite the contrary. Hopefully it wasn’t unproductive, although at times – yes, painful. But that’s life. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything. But God has something new for me. And it’s definitely a walk of faith. It’s very difficult to leave but I know this is the right decision. Now I need to wait on the Lord to see how He will bring about great things for me and those remaining in Poland. I trust Him for those wonderful things not just for me but them as well. Nevertheless, change is difficult for all.
Please pray for me as I listen to hear the various turns I need to make on my new path. Please pray for comfort, encouragement and hope for the entire group in Poland. More to come about my plans.