Well, I think I was just wound WAY too tight to even write. Looking back on the last 4 months, which was my initial adjustment phase to living in the States again – specifically California, I can see I was overwhelmed and stressed out. Plus, there is the grieving that I mentioned earlier. I wasn’t really even myself, except for glimpses along the way.
Peace has returned, if not totally at least in part. I was trying to control ‘life’ which never works anyway and had put a lot of pressure on myself to get ‘life’ going here. But God has His timing and I am now willing to wait. Not that I will sit around and do nothing but I’ve relinquished the illusion of control and I’m more relaxed as I actively wait. There are still jobs to apply for, relationships to build, volunteering and I’ll continue to write. Each day is its own and I need to be in the present.
I’m so thankful God has good things in store for me but also that there are good things now if I’d just take a minute to adjust my focus. Attitude, perspective and focus are keys in knowing who’s in control, how much He cares and allowing Him to work in my life. I’m still learning and re-learning.
