Running but Difficult to Engage!

I have certainly thought a lot more about writing than I actually have. Sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be enough “space” to sort out my thoughts and get them down on paper or on the screen. Plus, I’m sick once again. I think it’s the fourth time in 4 or 5 weeks. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Travis has been a huge help during this time while Denise is in the States. Yesterday I didn’t even go to Sunday service because I thought I shouldn’t spread my germs around. So he took it all. Thankfully he was already scheduled to do the teaching.

I’m not going to try and think of something wonderful to write since my brain seems to be in neutral. But I’d love your prayers for my health and for a few days this week that I have potentially scheduled as time off.

Reminders Come from All Kinds of Places

Sometimes I can still be amazed at how, where and when God chooses to communicate. After my last written post about compassion, I was reading before going to bed. This is a fictional book by Alexander McCall Smith that takes place in Africa. God used this book to further emphasize what he had already been speaking to me. I’m sure that if I hadn’t begun to understand my barrier to compassion then this passage would have just been glossed over. I was just reading along and the main character, Mma Ramotswe [African title and last name], is talking about her disbelief at how her friend treats her servants.

Her friend who treated her maid badly was not a wicked person. She behaved well towards her family and she had always been kind to Mma Ramotswe, but when it came to her maid – and Mma Ramotswe had met this maid, who seemed an agreeable, hardworking woman from Molepolole – she seemed to have little concern for her feelings. It occurred to Mma Ramotswe that such behavior was no more than ignorance; an inability to understand the hopes and aspirations of others. That understanding, thought Mma Ramotswe, was the beginning of all morality. If you knew how a person was feeling, if you could imagine yourself in her position, then surely it would be impossible to inflict further pain. Inflicting pain in such circumstances would be like hurting oneself.

The main character goes on to talk about the Ten Commandments and how they are absolute. That we can’t pick and choose what is right for ourselves and have a “separate morality”. I must admit, I was surprised to find this in my detective novel. But I have also learned that when I am open to God, he can use virtually any source to speak to me. I’m so thankful he doesn’t give up on me but rather reminds and encourages me along the way.

Group shot at the bonfire with the California team.

This is Travis, Denise, Lindy (from California), and Piotrek roasting Kielbasa and having fun!

Kate, Sabina and Paulina - we're in Slovakia just for the day!

Thinking too much?

All my life I have highly valued observation and analysis and still do. They are useful tools in life for conflict resolution, problem solving and general understanding. Recently, I found myself lacking compassion for someone and their situation so I fell back on one of my old favorites – analysis. But I couldn’t find understanding or compassion this time. So I went to different levels of analysis. Since I live in a culture not my own I probed deeper to see if I had some “blind spot” due to cultural differences. Naturally I found differences but couldn’t reconcile those differences with my complete absence of compassion. I was thinking a lot and trying to understand the situation from their perspective but my feelings didn’t change and I only became more frustrated.

Throughout the years I have questioned whether I was much of a compassionate person. Generally I thought the answer was – no. Therefore, I just wanted to tell the person to make some decision and get on with life. Deal with it! Now I can see one of the factors that was affecting my reaction to this particular situation. The depth of my compassion was influenced by my own self interest. What expectations of mine have been disappointed? How have I been discouraged by this person and situation? My hurt through disappointment and discouragement impacted directly my willingness and ability to look from the other person’s perspective and to touch and receive from my Father’s heart of compassion.

I’ve been struggling with this for probably 6 months but more intensely the last month. I think, I think too much!! And I’m not in touch with my feelings. They can take me by surprise sometimes. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out my issues regarding this other person. Thinking is good but feelings are important too. I still don’t really know what to do in this situation or how to be supportive but I hope to fully let go of my hurt and disappointment. Then I pray God will be able to move more freely.

"Coffee" answers

(If you've come here wondering what this is all about, the post this refers to can be found here.)

As I said here are the answers for the "Coffee" grammar exercise. If you aren't a native speaker of English these exercises can be quite difficult.
1) which 2) were 3) could 4) to 5) become 6) until 7) first 8) had 9) how 10) where 11)because 12) on 13) their 14) for 15) the

A Cup of Joe...Soon to Be!

Coffee! A stylized cup in it's pure form. :)