The topic of money is bound to come up sooner or later. It's impossible to completely remove oneself from it's sphere of influence. I suppose someone might disagree with me but then I'm not a backwoods, living off the grid type of person! I do like my creature comforts, like indoor plumbing!! Money certainly can give varying degrees of freedom but at the same time can also twist us up in knots.
The aspect I'm zeroing in on is Money, Independence and Marriage, or MIM for short! : ) Surprisingly enough, or not, being one in finances was/is one of the biggest adjustments for me in married life. Why? Hmmm... At first, it was difficult to even remember that I needed to consult Brian on some purchases that were out of the ordinary. How were the monthly expenses going? Did it fit in the budget at this time? Brian isn't tight fisted at all but there is only so much money that comes in monthly! As a single person, if there was money in the bank - why not!? A budget? Only I had to suffer any consequences of irresponsible spending. I don't think of myself as irresponsible so whether single or married there aren't a lot of problems. This issue is really in my heart and attitude.
The concept of a budget is not an anathema to me, quite the contrary! Knowing limits for types of spending actually gives me more freedom and security. I think it comes down to someone else taking care of me. How is that a bad thing?! It isn't!!!! I just think it tickles at that age old issue of mine called performance based love. I'm not doing enough - guilt. How am I contributing? I can't be pulling my own weight. I don't deserve this because I haven't done anything for it. Peeu - all that stinks!! In reality, whatever Brian and I bring to the marriage of a financial nature really has come from God. I want to share with him just as much as he wants to share with me. I don't want to cheapen God's provision for both of us by keeping tally (of whatever it might be), being burdened by guilt, or the pressure of earning it. God freely gives. I just have to remember from where the blessing is really coming.
It's funny, in both a Ha Ha and strange way, the aspects of life that can trip me up. I can make things so complicated or just plain whacked. I've got to recognize these issues first, but thankfully God is the one to make the adjustments in me so my load truly is light. In addition, I can talk to Brian about anything, even if it's stinky! All in all, thank GOD! : )
