Life with Brian!

I have one word that describes life with Brian - awesome! No really! Perhaps you have deduced from my blog that I'm neither a particular romantic or prone to rose colored glasses. I wouldn't even call myself an optimist, rather a realist. Brian is more romantic than I am! Is Brian perfect? - NO. No one is! Is life perfect with him? Yes and no.

I said that I would write more about loving someone with a chronic illness (Gulf War Illness), so here goes. First, let me add another word that is very important, in our marriage at least. That is the word "flexibility." It is difficult to describe the various feelings and symptoms that Brian experiences, even for Brian. Suffice to say that he suffers, some days more than others, though no one would know it to look at him. Does he know when the bad days are coming? Generally not. Although, he does better or worse in differing seasons of the year. Due to the cold and greater number of storm patterns, winter is not his best season. However, there can still be good days during the winter.

So what does that all mean for he and I, together? We both need to be flexible. Sometimes we plan to do something but he wakes up that day and it's not a good one. OK, that activity is not going to happen that day. That's just the way it is. If Brian pushes himself on a bad day to do whatever because it's planned, it usually backfires. He could go into a crash which is more intense and lasts longer. It's so not worth it! Or, if the day and it's activity can be adapted so the pace is slower and more relaxed that sometimes works. With that in mind, the third word I've needed to incorporate more into my life is "spontaneity." (I think Brian was always more spontaneous than I.) When it's a good day then the activity will happen. We can't always know when that is. However, over time, I've learned not to be so disappointed when something doesn't happen because it will; I just don't know when. Plus, Brian will often make suggestions of things to do at the spur of the moment. Why not?! Take the adventure and the good days when they arrive. Planning can be overrated!

There is more to write, which I will, but we'll start with this.
Update: Part 2 of Life with Brian click here.