In Times of Jetlag

As I begin writing this, it's about a quarter to eight in the morning. I've already been awake for over 3.5 hours. I saw the time on that clock come and go. Trust me, these are not my typical hours!! The house is cold because the heater isn't programmed to come on yet. I've watched the sky grow bright and the neighborhood slowly come to life. Usually I watch the surrounding area shut down for the night rather than separately share with them a cup of very early morning coffee.

Often Brian is up at these wee hours of the morning but that is because he has yet to be able to go to sleep. Besides being negatively affected by cold weather, this inability to sleep is another aspect of the Gulf War Syndrome for him. I can't imagine. :( Although, thankfully, he has been able to sleep fairly well these past couple of nights.

As I deal with jetlag, these past few mornings have been very quiet and reflective. There certainly is no rush to move into the day since it really hasn't started (except on the east coast or in Europe)! Thoughts, prayers and activities take on a different tone or quality in the early hours for me. I feel settled, peaceful and also the longings for continued adventure, inspiration and growth come more easily to the forefront. Perhaps those feelings could be viewed as the antithesis of being settled and at peace. They don't feel opposite to me. I think it is because I feel settled, safe that I can allow those feelings to surface. I love the mixture; it's exhilarating! The questions or longings don't need closure for me, meaning - what is the adventure? What will happen in the future? I love it all because it's a hunger that keeps me looking, investigating and hopeful. How can I be disappointed in life since I'm actively participating in it?! I do expect tunnels, bumps and sharp curves along the road but...!