America is a strange and wonderful place.
Yes, I’m back in the States and have been for a week. Thankfully jetlag was minimal. Although there is no denying the 24 hour transit (door to door) can be brutal – in psychological adjustments. This extended travel in what I call “the big silver Twinkie in the sky” is a cultural limbo. I’m in Europe, then the Twinkie and finally America. Trust me – it’s different! Both have their pluses and minuses. Some things are strange to me now after having been away for so long; other things and people are a joy to return to. I especially like the relative ease of a chat with a stranger, whether it be with the other person in line or the customer service person. I love the easy smiles and friendliness.
I also was a little surprised yet not shocked, when my mother’s wallet was turned into the info desk – complete. We were at Barnes and Noble’s (a bookstore chain) and she must have thought she was putting it in her purse but it slipped to the floor without notice. Go people and honest ways! Many blessings on the person who returned it! By the way, I'm NOT saying people aren't honest in other places. This last part is just a good story to share.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Brief Update
It’s been a week already since I last wrote. Where does the time go? I’m on furlough with no specific daily routine but I still don’t understand how the time slips away. But I’ve been able to go on long walks with the dog, Dundee. I’ve done baking with the girls of the family I’m staying with, gone to a birthday brunch, read lots and gone to the movies with 9 others! I’m grateful for being included and the time on my own. There are a lot of ups and downs, tears and laughter. Nevertheless, I’m thankful for the relationships that are growing here and for the broad place God has provided for this time of restoration.
I continue to be torn because other people I love are far away. So I’m learning how to truly entrust others to Jesus. I’m not sure why that is so hard. After all, he knows them better, is able to do all things and loves them with an everlasting love! Who is better than Jesus?! Certainly not me! But relationships are important and a treasure. I'm thankful even though torn.
I continue to be torn because other people I love are far away. So I’m learning how to truly entrust others to Jesus. I’m not sure why that is so hard. After all, he knows them better, is able to do all things and loves them with an everlasting love! Who is better than Jesus?! Certainly not me! But relationships are important and a treasure. I'm thankful even though torn.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Sharing a Cup
Time for coffee, literally, is very important to me. Of course, the little jolt one gets to jump start the day or the jolt to keep going are just a couple of the reasons I drink the stuff. But when I really take the time to enjoy my cup, I’d much rather be drinking with someone. Now that I’m in Switzerland for a bit I’m able to have coffee with people I rarely am able to share this simple pleasure. On the other hand, I miss having coffee with my friends in Poland and still have to look forward to sharing a cup with people in Seattle. I wish I could gather around me in one place all those dear to my heart then I wouldn’t feel so torn.
For me the challenge in this situation is to truly remain open and vulnerable. With my heart in several places, I tend to be protective of it so that it can survive being “split.” But God is faithful to remind me that when I try to protect my heart, I end up hiding it away or holding back and this is my idea of protecting it. I don’t know any other way of protecting it. I’m so thankful God is greater than I and has higher ways than mine. Because my way automatically reduces my openness and vulnerability. I need to actively decide for vulnerability since it is not my automatic reaction. But in the end, the joy I reap and deep connections with others are well worth it. This is a “public” decision to keep deciding for openness and vulnerability.
For me the challenge in this situation is to truly remain open and vulnerable. With my heart in several places, I tend to be protective of it so that it can survive being “split.” But God is faithful to remind me that when I try to protect my heart, I end up hiding it away or holding back and this is my idea of protecting it. I don’t know any other way of protecting it. I’m so thankful God is greater than I and has higher ways than mine. Because my way automatically reduces my openness and vulnerability. I need to actively decide for vulnerability since it is not my automatic reaction. But in the end, the joy I reap and deep connections with others are well worth it. This is a “public” decision to keep deciding for openness and vulnerability.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Laughter is always necessary!
I want to write more soon so you know a bit more about what's happening. In brief it's been a tough end to the week as God is bringing out somethings he wants to clear away in me. So there have been some tears as I see things in me I don't want. I look forward to God's good work.
At the same time, I have been reading some in the 'Prairie Home Companion's Pretty Good Joke Book', because it's important to laugh. I thought I'd share a few.
Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig!
(So remember your view of something just depends on your perspective!)
If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.
How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.
How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
Why?
It just does, OK?
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.
I hope you enjoyed at least one or two. They're kind of silly but all in good fun.
At the same time, I have been reading some in the 'Prairie Home Companion's Pretty Good Joke Book', because it's important to laugh. I thought I'd share a few.
Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig!
(So remember your view of something just depends on your perspective!)
If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.
How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.
How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
Why?
It just does, OK?
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.
I hope you enjoyed at least one or two. They're kind of silly but all in good fun.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
First Full Week
This past week each day has been new for me because each day has had a new routine to experience. It’s been the first full week of my “regular” schedule and trying to keep up with all the goings on of a family with 4 active kids! There are cello and electric guitar lessons, gymnastics, dog training school, and soccer just to name a few.
Earlier in the week I gave the kids some small presents that I brought with me from Poland. Sabina helped me pick everything out and I wouldn’t have been as successful as I was without her suggestions! Not all of them were really classically Polish as it is difficult to find Polish things that would interest kids. But the gifts seemed well received and the next day I got a thank you picture from the youngest. Kayla is 6 and one of the things she got was a soft dog coin purse. Well, she drew me a picture of a couple of dogs and wrote at the top of the page “senkiufor dis dag – vram Kayla”. Now if you need an English – English translation it is: thank you for this dog – from Kayla. So for sure that gift was a hit! (Thanks Sabina!)
Earlier in the week I gave the kids some small presents that I brought with me from Poland. Sabina helped me pick everything out and I wouldn’t have been as successful as I was without her suggestions! Not all of them were really classically Polish as it is difficult to find Polish things that would interest kids. But the gifts seemed well received and the next day I got a thank you picture from the youngest. Kayla is 6 and one of the things she got was a soft dog coin purse. Well, she drew me a picture of a couple of dogs and wrote at the top of the page “senkiufor dis dag – vram Kayla”. Now if you need an English – English translation it is: thank you for this dog – from Kayla. So for sure that gift was a hit! (Thanks Sabina!)
Monday, November 01, 2004
Weekend Conference
This weekend I was able to attend a Christian conference in Basel which had either English speakers or translation from German. There were about 300 people and because of the connections in Switzerland over the past couple of years I knew quite a few people. I loved the corporate worship and the teaching. And I can still find it surprising how God works. One speaker referred to a verse in Habakkuk which I turned to and then left my Bible open to that page. Later I glanced down and my eyes went to another verse. There were no lights flashing neither did the verse seem to jump off the page at me; but nevertheless, it spoke to me of my situation. The verse is Hakakkuk 2:1 - "I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the Lord will say to me and how he will answer my complaint."
This is definitely a time of waiting on the Lord for me, to receive and get some answers. But I wondered if 'complaint' was really the word that fit. After thinking about that for myself and reading Habakkuk's complaint, I had to admit I did have complaints that needed God's answers. Sometimes I surprise myself because I don't even know all that's going on inside of me. And after all, it's hard to get answers to all my questions if I don't know what they are! There were other scriptures and ideas in the teachings that were also an encouragement. I'm thankful that God is already speaking and leading me to a place where I can hear his answers.
This is definitely a time of waiting on the Lord for me, to receive and get some answers. But I wondered if 'complaint' was really the word that fit. After thinking about that for myself and reading Habakkuk's complaint, I had to admit I did have complaints that needed God's answers. Sometimes I surprise myself because I don't even know all that's going on inside of me. And after all, it's hard to get answers to all my questions if I don't know what they are! There were other scriptures and ideas in the teachings that were also an encouragement. I'm thankful that God is already speaking and leading me to a place where I can hear his answers.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Arrival in Switzerland
I've arrived in Switzerland for my extended stay (furlough) of 6 months. (I will be in Seattle for Christmas and most of January.) I wandered around downtown Bern and I think I put on 10 pounds just looking at all the pastries, cheesecakes and chocolates. They all looked delicious and incredibly fattening! I wish I still had the metabolism I had in high school!
It actually was a little overwhelming even though I love being in a big city. I love the energy, options and so many sites, sounds and smells bombarding the senses. To get "centered" a bit I went to Starbucks and I thoroughly enjoyed my caramel macchiato! Probably the prices, most of all, are the most unsettling and overwhelming. They don't even begin to compare with Polish prices! Before when I was in Switzerland it was for a vacation or a conference of a very short duration so I could splurge some and just enjoy it. Now that's changed and my perspective as well.
I'm so glad to be staying with a family outside of Bern (5 miles). Here is the best of both worlds. I can choose to go into the city, only a 15 minute bus ride, or take a walk and enjoy a view of the mountains. That doesn't cost a thing and is valuable beyond price. Plus, "the girls" - Dorothea (mom), Annina (11), Laura (9), Kayla (6) and I played a game after dinner today. Playing games in a family of this age is not what I get to do normally so that too was fun.
It actually was a little overwhelming even though I love being in a big city. I love the energy, options and so many sites, sounds and smells bombarding the senses. To get "centered" a bit I went to Starbucks and I thoroughly enjoyed my caramel macchiato! Probably the prices, most of all, are the most unsettling and overwhelming. They don't even begin to compare with Polish prices! Before when I was in Switzerland it was for a vacation or a conference of a very short duration so I could splurge some and just enjoy it. Now that's changed and my perspective as well.
I'm so glad to be staying with a family outside of Bern (5 miles). Here is the best of both worlds. I can choose to go into the city, only a 15 minute bus ride, or take a walk and enjoy a view of the mountains. That doesn't cost a thing and is valuable beyond price. Plus, "the girls" - Dorothea (mom), Annina (11), Laura (9), Kayla (6) and I played a game after dinner today. Playing games in a family of this age is not what I get to do normally so that too was fun.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Sundays
Sunday, it’s a good day. I love Sundays. Perhaps the only thing I don’t like is getting up at 7am. I am not much of a morning person. So although I don’t like getting up that early, if I don’t, then I don’t have enough time to “wrap my mind around” the meeting at 10:30. Our group that meets on Sunday is like family to me. And I feel privileged that they want me to share something of what I’ve learned in my relationship with God.
After I return home, about 1pm, then the whole day stretches before me – completely free. It’s the only time of the week where I put absolutely no pressure on myself to “be productive” somehow. I’m not saying that I’m working all the rest of the time through the week! I often decide it’s time to stop and then I watch a movie or read or something. Or I procrastinate like everyone else. But I love Sundays!
After I return home, about 1pm, then the whole day stretches before me – completely free. It’s the only time of the week where I put absolutely no pressure on myself to “be productive” somehow. I’m not saying that I’m working all the rest of the time through the week! I often decide it’s time to stop and then I watch a movie or read or something. Or I procrastinate like everyone else. But I love Sundays!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Daily Decisions
But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Psalm 31:14, 15 NLT
Yesterday was a tough day. My computer wasn’t working properly. I was uninspired while trying to write a long overdue newsletter. Everything seemed a great effort to do. Emotions were at a low level.
Today has started off better with a bit more drive and energy. I was actually reading Psalm 34 today but the 2 verses above, from Ps. 31, caught my eye. They seem to sum up my position these days. I feel a little lost about the future but am so thankful that it is in God’s hands. And I decide again and again to trust him. The enemies the verse talks about, for me, are the enemies within. My emotions can really be out of whack these days, too often for my liking, maybe it’s the age. In any case, I fight discouragement, undesirability, and listlessness, for example. Guarding my heart is essential as it is the wellspring of life – Prov. 4:23.
Please know that I have good days too!! And generally speaking, I’m so thankful for the life God has given me. My new “family” here in Poland gives me much joy and comfort.
I’m very glad today is a new day! And I can make good decisions for guarding my heart.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Emotions - who needs them?!
Last night I watched “Generations” a Star Trek movie. I don’t know if that’s really the title but it’s the direct translation from the Polish one. I realize I’m a little behind the times. It was done in 1994 but I didn’t manage to see it before I came to Poland. Yes, I’m a Trekie but not hard core, obviously!
I particularly liked one scene with Data and Cap. Picard. Data has had an emotion chip put in that has become fused and can’t be removed. He’s overwhelmed with emotions and can’t perform his duties. He begs to be deactivated so he can be put out of his misery. Of course, Cap. Picard in his fatherly way tells him – this is part of being a human and that also means going on with life dealing as best we can with the emotions and through them. Then tells him he needs his assistance and orders him back to work – which he bravely does!
Emotions – the voice of the heart. Sometimes my heart has many conflicting things to say! How does hope, disappointment, feelings of rejection, encouragement, love, just to name a few, reside in the same place? There have been times throughout my life that I have wished I could “kill” my hope. It seemed like a merciful thing to have happen. But I’m so thankful God has never allowed that. I don’t always understand why something is happening or understand my emotions around it. Sometimes I do something so I won’t have any regrets, not having done it. Then I seem to end up having regrets because it’s opened up another can of worms. Life is very often a mystery to me and my reactions to it! But I remember Romans 5:2-5: “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
I felt sorry for Data, having all those emotions come flooding in. But I want to live from the heart and hold on to hope!
I particularly liked one scene with Data and Cap. Picard. Data has had an emotion chip put in that has become fused and can’t be removed. He’s overwhelmed with emotions and can’t perform his duties. He begs to be deactivated so he can be put out of his misery. Of course, Cap. Picard in his fatherly way tells him – this is part of being a human and that also means going on with life dealing as best we can with the emotions and through them. Then tells him he needs his assistance and orders him back to work – which he bravely does!
Emotions – the voice of the heart. Sometimes my heart has many conflicting things to say! How does hope, disappointment, feelings of rejection, encouragement, love, just to name a few, reside in the same place? There have been times throughout my life that I have wished I could “kill” my hope. It seemed like a merciful thing to have happen. But I’m so thankful God has never allowed that. I don’t always understand why something is happening or understand my emotions around it. Sometimes I do something so I won’t have any regrets, not having done it. Then I seem to end up having regrets because it’s opened up another can of worms. Life is very often a mystery to me and my reactions to it! But I remember Romans 5:2-5: “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
I felt sorry for Data, having all those emotions come flooding in. But I want to live from the heart and hold on to hope!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
My Attitude and Plans
Do your days always go as planned? If so please write me and tell me how you do it!! But I think no matter where one lives in the world – the unexpected happens. Sometimes it’s a refreshing change of plans, sometimes a crisis and sometimes just a nuisance. In the end it’s all about my attitude. How flexible am I and creative in further planning?
Neither of these traits has been at its fullest lately I’m sorry to say. I’ve stayed mildly frustrated and actually without a desire to do anything. But because of this I’ve paid more attention to the little things. What things might happen through the day to touch my attitude?
A cup of coffee and a relaxed morning – maybe even two cups!
Watching our one year old cat chase her tail on top of a chair and trying not to fall off!
A beautiful sunny day with a view of snowcapped mountains.
A fire in the fireplace and reading a good book.
Not setting my alarm!
A warm, sunny afternoon, a European sidewalk café, a taste treat and of course a cup of coffee.
In some respects I feel a little like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music with her “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens …..” But it’s important to celebrate the little things in life, I think. Life goes by quickly and it’s not always easy either. I need to take, at least a few seconds, to acknowledge these little things that can put a smile on my face or produce a sigh of contentment. Otherwise, I find myself harried, impatient and too often frustrated by not getting everything done that I’d planned.
As each day goes by, I realize on deeper and deeper levels that life is not just about me and my little plans! It’s amazing how small and petty I have been and can be. I do want to be available to God and the plans he has for my day. Please pray for flexibility and balance in my life.
Neither of these traits has been at its fullest lately I’m sorry to say. I’ve stayed mildly frustrated and actually without a desire to do anything. But because of this I’ve paid more attention to the little things. What things might happen through the day to touch my attitude?
A cup of coffee and a relaxed morning – maybe even two cups!
Watching our one year old cat chase her tail on top of a chair and trying not to fall off!
A beautiful sunny day with a view of snowcapped mountains.
A fire in the fireplace and reading a good book.
Not setting my alarm!
A warm, sunny afternoon, a European sidewalk café, a taste treat and of course a cup of coffee.
In some respects I feel a little like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music with her “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens …..” But it’s important to celebrate the little things in life, I think. Life goes by quickly and it’s not always easy either. I need to take, at least a few seconds, to acknowledge these little things that can put a smile on my face or produce a sigh of contentment. Otherwise, I find myself harried, impatient and too often frustrated by not getting everything done that I’d planned.
As each day goes by, I realize on deeper and deeper levels that life is not just about me and my little plans! It’s amazing how small and petty I have been and can be. I do want to be available to God and the plans he has for my day. Please pray for flexibility and balance in my life.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Saturday, August 28, 2004
It's been how long?
Well I can’t believe it but yesterday I celebrated my eighth anniversary of ministering in Poland. We had a college / career meeting last night and I decided to bring a cake with candles to mark the day. I’ve never done anything like that any of the other years but it seemed necessary this time. This past year has had its tough times so I needed to celebrate with others even though none of these people knew the actual day I (we) arrived here.
This year I learned more from others about what I did and do wrong than anything I might have done right. I realize that this is generally the cultural way here. But being an American I’m used to having a few encouraging words along with some suggestions about what can be done better! I can struggle with my own thoughts when there isn’t much encouragement.
For example, this week I had some great time with people. I had a good conversation with Sabina – poolside! (It’s a new outdoor pool in Zakopane.) The topic wasn’t necessarily easy nor did I have all the answers but it was open and honest. On Wednesday almost the entire group that went to the U-Turn camp did a rather relaxed hike in the mountains. Well, I must say, it was relaxed for them but taxing for me! Anyway we had a wonderful time worshipping, praying and just having fun, along with many pictures being taken. Yet still my disappointing answers to people’s questions weighed heavily on me. At least the answers were disappointing to me.
Maybe because it was the “anniversary week” discouragement crept in too easily. But my thoughts were not holding on to the positive but rather focusing on my inadequacies. So I chose to start the meeting Friday night with the cake and candles. Then the meeting and what was shared was so encouraging for me. The people were just talking about their past week and how God was working. God is so great and it’s just amazing he uses any of us! I’m looking forward to what he has this year. After all, diamonds aren’t made overnight!
Thanks for any prayers you send up on my behalf.
This year I learned more from others about what I did and do wrong than anything I might have done right. I realize that this is generally the cultural way here. But being an American I’m used to having a few encouraging words along with some suggestions about what can be done better! I can struggle with my own thoughts when there isn’t much encouragement.
For example, this week I had some great time with people. I had a good conversation with Sabina – poolside! (It’s a new outdoor pool in Zakopane.) The topic wasn’t necessarily easy nor did I have all the answers but it was open and honest. On Wednesday almost the entire group that went to the U-Turn camp did a rather relaxed hike in the mountains. Well, I must say, it was relaxed for them but taxing for me! Anyway we had a wonderful time worshipping, praying and just having fun, along with many pictures being taken. Yet still my disappointing answers to people’s questions weighed heavily on me. At least the answers were disappointing to me.
Maybe because it was the “anniversary week” discouragement crept in too easily. But my thoughts were not holding on to the positive but rather focusing on my inadequacies. So I chose to start the meeting Friday night with the cake and candles. Then the meeting and what was shared was so encouraging for me. The people were just talking about their past week and how God was working. God is so great and it’s just amazing he uses any of us! I’m looking forward to what he has this year. After all, diamonds aren’t made overnight!
Thanks for any prayers you send up on my behalf.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Lookin' Good?
This particular post may not be long or personal, but I’ve spent a bit of time getting this “blog” to look right after “they” put in a search bar at the top. I don’t really know html so I’m quite proud of myself that I’ve got it to look this good and mostly how I want it. So is there grace for me even though I don’t have a deep and profound post?
Monday, August 16, 2004
A Visitor Straight from Africa!
My cousin, Charles, is about to leave after having been here a total of 10 days. He’s on his way back to the States after serving 2 years with the Peace Corps in The Gambia, West Africa. I can’t really imagine what he has experienced in the past couple of years, including a cobra in his shower! And I can only begin to grasp the various emotions, sights seen and the impact on his perspective of life because I too have lived in a culture other than my own. But Poland is much closer to my culture than Africa is!
It’s been great getting reacquainted with Charles after all these years, to hear some of his stories and to share about our lives a bit. He shared with our Wednesday night group about his time in Africa complete with pictures. The most popular question and with the biggest reaction revolved around the issue of toilet paper or the lack of it!
When I think of Charles’ reentry into life in the States, I can’t imagine what all is ahead of him. He does have some desires and ideas of what he’d like to do. I just wouldn’t have a clue if I were in his position. But that’s probably because I’m feeling a little at a loss these days. I think I need some refocusing time for passion and drive to return. I find myself in a strange state. I’m quite comfortable doing whatever in terms of ministry which is rather unusual because I typically can be hesitant about some things. But the passion or heart behind it seems to be lacking. What is God up to? Time will tell.
It’s been great getting reacquainted with Charles after all these years, to hear some of his stories and to share about our lives a bit. He shared with our Wednesday night group about his time in Africa complete with pictures. The most popular question and with the biggest reaction revolved around the issue of toilet paper or the lack of it!
When I think of Charles’ reentry into life in the States, I can’t imagine what all is ahead of him. He does have some desires and ideas of what he’d like to do. I just wouldn’t have a clue if I were in his position. But that’s probably because I’m feeling a little at a loss these days. I think I need some refocusing time for passion and drive to return. I find myself in a strange state. I’m quite comfortable doing whatever in terms of ministry which is rather unusual because I typically can be hesitant about some things. But the passion or heart behind it seems to be lacking. What is God up to? Time will tell.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
Camp - on a personal note
So on more of a personal note about the camp …. The corporate worship of a large group of believers can’t be replaced by anything else. I really needed to worship together with the 160 others and in English! It is amazing the difference it makes worshiping in your native language. I have gotten to the point where it is possible to truly enter into worship in Polish but it’s still different than English. One guy, a number of years ago now, came to me after a service (before I began church planting) to ask forgiveness. He was judging me because during worship I didn’t raise my hands. He was feeling sorry for me because I wasn’t really worshiping. I just thought that he has no idea what it is like to try and worship in a language not your own. And at that time I didn’t know Polish very well. So worshiping in English is always a treat for me.
As a missionary and church planter, it is also easy for feelings of isolation to set in. I think it is mostly because I don’t really know where to call “home”. Poland, America and even Switzerland (where I have friends and churches that support our work) all are home in one way or another. But when I’m in the larger body of Christ and can experience my family on a larger scale I’m comforted and reminded of the connections I do have. Unfortunately I am not spiritual enough to fully grab hold of the truth that heaven is our home. Yes, that’s true but I’m still in this body and struggle with feeling out of place.
I’m very thankful for the heart connections I was able to make at camp. And for the worship and conversations with others that soothed my soul as God watered my parched land.
As a missionary and church planter, it is also easy for feelings of isolation to set in. I think it is mostly because I don’t really know where to call “home”. Poland, America and even Switzerland (where I have friends and churches that support our work) all are home in one way or another. But when I’m in the larger body of Christ and can experience my family on a larger scale I’m comforted and reminded of the connections I do have. Unfortunately I am not spiritual enough to fully grab hold of the truth that heaven is our home. Yes, that’s true but I’m still in this body and struggle with feeling out of place.
I’m very thankful for the heart connections I was able to make at camp. And for the worship and conversations with others that soothed my soul as God watered my parched land.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
High Time at Camp
We are back from the Netherlands. Oh! Didn’t I tell you I was going with a group from Poland? Well we had the wonderful opportunity to participate in Foursquare’s European Young People’s camp – U-Turn. All together there were 160 of us. I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but our group had a fantastic time. There were visions, answers to prayer, freedom to worship, and real change through the power of the Holy Spirit that left our group excited about God and desiring more of Him. And why wouldn’t we? He is so great!
For me it was an important time. I needed to be refreshed in God through his Word, worship and relationships. I also went with a group last year but this year just seemed to “click” for me. Primarily, I think, because I was able to spend more quality time with our group. Plus, I think this group is very special this year. Connections are so important and I’m very thankful for the opportunity through this camp to make and deepen connections with these people. I’m not the most outgoing person so to have this kind of opportunity is critical in putting the relationships on a firmer foundation.
Our group consisted of two guys and nine females (including Denise and myself). Each of us is unique and I treasure the individual relationships I have begun or deepened because of this time. These people are very precious and I feel privileged to be, in some way, a part of their lives. It is my prayer that each of us will be able to build on what God has given us from this camp time. To build and continue to invite and embrace God in more and more areas of our lives. Going back to the “routine” can be difficult after such a close time with God and others. Please pray with me that we all hold onto the gifts, further steps in our faith and the renewed hope God has given us. Pictures will follow soon!
For me it was an important time. I needed to be refreshed in God through his Word, worship and relationships. I also went with a group last year but this year just seemed to “click” for me. Primarily, I think, because I was able to spend more quality time with our group. Plus, I think this group is very special this year. Connections are so important and I’m very thankful for the opportunity through this camp to make and deepen connections with these people. I’m not the most outgoing person so to have this kind of opportunity is critical in putting the relationships on a firmer foundation.
Our group consisted of two guys and nine females (including Denise and myself). Each of us is unique and I treasure the individual relationships I have begun or deepened because of this time. These people are very precious and I feel privileged to be, in some way, a part of their lives. It is my prayer that each of us will be able to build on what God has given us from this camp time. To build and continue to invite and embrace God in more and more areas of our lives. Going back to the “routine” can be difficult after such a close time with God and others. Please pray with me that we all hold onto the gifts, further steps in our faith and the renewed hope God has given us. Pictures will follow soon!
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Too Long Since I Last Wrote
OK - I’ve been requested to write more and I know it has been a long while since my last entry, especially for a blog! It’s great to know that people could be interested in what I might have to write. But it will definitely push me to be consistent in updating. Maybe once I get into the flow of it it will be easier. Thanks, Anonymous, for the encouragement to write!
Over this weekend we have had a visitor from Switzerland. Matthias is our pastor/mentor friend. Naturally we don’t see each other all that often. However, the visits are more frequent than I ever expected when he first said he would come and help as he could. I never came to Poland with the idea of church planting. Far from it! Nevertheless, this is where God has led. It’s exciting and challenging to say the least. But I can’t even imagine continuing with it if it weren’t the support of our Swiss friends and our new found friends in California who have visited.
This weekend with Matthias was rather laid back, without any big outreach meetings. He came on his own this time without a team, so we were able to have more individual time. My time gave me a lot of food for thought. I now have a new perspective for refocusing. It’s amazing how I can narrow my field without even realizing it. When I was preparing to come to Poland I was asked how long I would stay. Back then I narrowed the field for God by saying 2 or 3 years – 5 years maximum. Next month I will have been here 8 years. Lately I haven’t been narrowing the field in terms of time but possibilities. Remaining open and available to God I guess is the biggest challenge, no matter what.
Over this weekend we have had a visitor from Switzerland. Matthias is our pastor/mentor friend. Naturally we don’t see each other all that often. However, the visits are more frequent than I ever expected when he first said he would come and help as he could. I never came to Poland with the idea of church planting. Far from it! Nevertheless, this is where God has led. It’s exciting and challenging to say the least. But I can’t even imagine continuing with it if it weren’t the support of our Swiss friends and our new found friends in California who have visited.
This weekend with Matthias was rather laid back, without any big outreach meetings. He came on his own this time without a team, so we were able to have more individual time. My time gave me a lot of food for thought. I now have a new perspective for refocusing. It’s amazing how I can narrow my field without even realizing it. When I was preparing to come to Poland I was asked how long I would stay. Back then I narrowed the field for God by saying 2 or 3 years – 5 years maximum. Next month I will have been here 8 years. Lately I haven’t been narrowing the field in terms of time but possibilities. Remaining open and available to God I guess is the biggest challenge, no matter what.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Running but Difficult to Engage!
I have certainly thought a lot more about writing than I actually have. Sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be enough “space” to sort out my thoughts and get them down on paper or on the screen. Plus, I’m sick once again. I think it’s the fourth time in 4 or 5 weeks. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Travis has been a huge help during this time while Denise is in the States. Yesterday I didn’t even go to Sunday service because I thought I shouldn’t spread my germs around. So he took it all. Thankfully he was already scheduled to do the teaching.
I’m not going to try and think of something wonderful to write since my brain seems to be in neutral. But I’d love your prayers for my health and for a few days this week that I have potentially scheduled as time off.
Travis has been a huge help during this time while Denise is in the States. Yesterday I didn’t even go to Sunday service because I thought I shouldn’t spread my germs around. So he took it all. Thankfully he was already scheduled to do the teaching.
I’m not going to try and think of something wonderful to write since my brain seems to be in neutral. But I’d love your prayers for my health and for a few days this week that I have potentially scheduled as time off.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Reminders Come from All Kinds of Places
Sometimes I can still be amazed at how, where and when God chooses to communicate. After my last written post about compassion, I was reading before going to bed. This is a fictional book by Alexander McCall Smith that takes place in Africa. God used this book to further emphasize what he had already been speaking to me. I’m sure that if I hadn’t begun to understand my barrier to compassion then this passage would have just been glossed over. I was just reading along and the main character, Mma Ramotswe [African title and last name], is talking about her disbelief at how her friend treats her servants.
Her friend who treated her maid badly was not a wicked person. She behaved well towards her family and she had always been kind to Mma Ramotswe, but when it came to her maid – and Mma Ramotswe had met this maid, who seemed an agreeable, hardworking woman from Molepolole – she seemed to have little concern for her feelings. It occurred to Mma Ramotswe that such behavior was no more than ignorance; an inability to understand the hopes and aspirations of others. That understanding, thought Mma Ramotswe, was the beginning of all morality. If you knew how a person was feeling, if you could imagine yourself in her position, then surely it would be impossible to inflict further pain. Inflicting pain in such circumstances would be like hurting oneself.The main character goes on to talk about the Ten Commandments and how they are absolute. That we can’t pick and choose what is right for ourselves and have a “separate morality”. I must admit, I was surprised to find this in my detective novel. But I have also learned that when I am open to God, he can use virtually any source to speak to me. I’m so thankful he doesn’t give up on me but rather reminds and encourages me along the way.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Thinking too much?
All my life I have highly valued observation and analysis and still do. They are useful tools in life for conflict resolution, problem solving and general understanding. Recently, I found myself lacking compassion for someone and their situation so I fell back on one of my old favorites – analysis. But I couldn’t find understanding or compassion this time. So I went to different levels of analysis. Since I live in a culture not my own I probed deeper to see if I had some “blind spot” due to cultural differences. Naturally I found differences but couldn’t reconcile those differences with my complete absence of compassion. I was thinking a lot and trying to understand the situation from their perspective but my feelings didn’t change and I only became more frustrated.
Throughout the years I have questioned whether I was much of a compassionate person. Generally I thought the answer was – no. Therefore, I just wanted to tell the person to make some decision and get on with life. Deal with it! Now I can see one of the factors that was affecting my reaction to this particular situation. The depth of my compassion was influenced by my own self interest. What expectations of mine have been disappointed? How have I been discouraged by this person and situation? My hurt through disappointment and discouragement impacted directly my willingness and ability to look from the other person’s perspective and to touch and receive from my Father’s heart of compassion.
I’ve been struggling with this for probably 6 months but more intensely the last month. I think, I think too much!! And I’m not in touch with my feelings. They can take me by surprise sometimes. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out my issues regarding this other person. Thinking is good but feelings are important too. I still don’t really know what to do in this situation or how to be supportive but I hope to fully let go of my hurt and disappointment. Then I pray God will be able to move more freely.
Throughout the years I have questioned whether I was much of a compassionate person. Generally I thought the answer was – no. Therefore, I just wanted to tell the person to make some decision and get on with life. Deal with it! Now I can see one of the factors that was affecting my reaction to this particular situation. The depth of my compassion was influenced by my own self interest. What expectations of mine have been disappointed? How have I been discouraged by this person and situation? My hurt through disappointment and discouragement impacted directly my willingness and ability to look from the other person’s perspective and to touch and receive from my Father’s heart of compassion.
I’ve been struggling with this for probably 6 months but more intensely the last month. I think, I think too much!! And I’m not in touch with my feelings. They can take me by surprise sometimes. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out my issues regarding this other person. Thinking is good but feelings are important too. I still don’t really know what to do in this situation or how to be supportive but I hope to fully let go of my hurt and disappointment. Then I pray God will be able to move more freely.
"Coffee" answers
(If you've come here wondering what this is all about, the post this refers to can be found here.)
As I said here are the answers for the "Coffee" grammar exercise. If you aren't a native speaker of English these exercises can be quite difficult.
1) which 2) were 3) could 4) to 5) become 6) until 7) first 8) had 9) how 10) where 11)because 12) on 13) their 14) for 15) the
As I said here are the answers for the "Coffee" grammar exercise. If you aren't a native speaker of English these exercises can be quite difficult.
1) which 2) were 3) could 4) to 5) become 6) until 7) first 8) had 9) how 10) where 11)because 12) on 13) their 14) for 15) the
Friday, June 11, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
The Origins of Coffee and My English Teaching in Poland
I usually don’t write too much about my English teaching in my newsletters. And I never thought I’d be teaching as long as I have. Prior to coming here to Poland in 1996, support raising was difficult and going slow. So we (my co-worker and I) decided to teach English to help supplement our funds. This whole idea scared me at first because I had no experience, as I’m a licensed architect. I agreed to teaching for 1 year and maybe I would consider 2 years! This year I just finished my eighth year of teaching. Of course, when asked how long I would stay in Poland I said 2 to 3 years – 5 years maximum. I look back now and laugh at “my plan.” God has been faithful and hasn’t called me to leave yet.
As promised here is an example of one kind of the exercises my students need to do for the Cambridge test. This particular test is one of the hardest for them. You can also learn a little history of coffee through this exercise. For the answers – look for them on my blog in a few days.
(For the answers see "Coffee" Answers.)
COFFEE
Coffee is made from the beans that grow in the fruits of the coffee plant. There are usually two beans in each fruit and harvesting is done (0)___by___ hand.
The word ‘coffee’ derives from the Arabic ‘qahwah’, a word (1)________ was originally used for wine, but which came to mean coffee. Coffee beans (2)_________ to be chewed before it was discovered that they (3)_______ be boiled with water (4)________ make a drink.
Coffee drinking began in Arab countries in the 14th century and did not (5)________ common in Europe (6)_______ the 17th century. At (7)________, coffee was sold by chemists, but it (8)________ little impact until the first coffee shop opened and instructions about (9)_________ to roast and grind the coffee were published.
In London, the first coffee houses – places (10)________ people met, drank coffee and talked – opened in 1652. In 1657 the King tried to close them (11)________ they were reported to disturb ‘the peace and quiet of the nation’. They did indeed have a great influence (12)________ political and commercial life. Several modern banks and other financial institutions have (13)________ origins in these coffee houses.
By the end of the 19th century, demand (14)________ coffee had grown and there were a great many plantations in tropical Africa. Today,(15)_______ world’s largest producers are Brazil, Colombia and the Ivory Coast.
As promised here is an example of one kind of the exercises my students need to do for the Cambridge test. This particular test is one of the hardest for them. You can also learn a little history of coffee through this exercise. For the answers – look for them on my blog in a few days.
(For the answers see "Coffee" Answers.)
COFFEE
Coffee is made from the beans that grow in the fruits of the coffee plant. There are usually two beans in each fruit and harvesting is done (0)___by___ hand.
The word ‘coffee’ derives from the Arabic ‘qahwah’, a word (1)________ was originally used for wine, but which came to mean coffee. Coffee beans (2)_________ to be chewed before it was discovered that they (3)_______ be boiled with water (4)________ make a drink.
Coffee drinking began in Arab countries in the 14th century and did not (5)________ common in Europe (6)_______ the 17th century. At (7)________, coffee was sold by chemists, but it (8)________ little impact until the first coffee shop opened and instructions about (9)_________ to roast and grind the coffee were published.
In London, the first coffee houses – places (10)________ people met, drank coffee and talked – opened in 1652. In 1657 the King tried to close them (11)________ they were reported to disturb ‘the peace and quiet of the nation’. They did indeed have a great influence (12)________ political and commercial life. Several modern banks and other financial institutions have (13)________ origins in these coffee houses.
By the end of the 19th century, demand (14)________ coffee had grown and there were a great many plantations in tropical Africa. Today,(15)_______ world’s largest producers are Brazil, Colombia and the Ivory Coast.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
New Beginnings
This "blog thing" is very new to me so I hope you will bear with me as I find my way. Travis is kind enough to show me the ropes, so to speak. But I would love any comments or questions to help direct some of these postings.
Right now I find myself at the end of English teaching for yet another school year. I'll tell you that the English language has gone into new and sometimes unfamiliar areas as I teach this language to non-native speakers. I also find more and more differences between British English and American. These differences are to such an extent that I wonder if they really are the same language. I teach fairly high levels, and prepare my students for a standardized Cambridge test which is recognized throughout Europe. For one of my next posts, I'll include one of the "Use of English" exercises that they need to do for the exam. It just happens to be entitled "Coffee"!
Right now I find myself at the end of English teaching for yet another school year. I'll tell you that the English language has gone into new and sometimes unfamiliar areas as I teach this language to non-native speakers. I also find more and more differences between British English and American. These differences are to such an extent that I wonder if they really are the same language. I teach fairly high levels, and prepare my students for a standardized Cambridge test which is recognized throughout Europe. For one of my next posts, I'll include one of the "Use of English" exercises that they need to do for the exam. It just happens to be entitled "Coffee"!
How to Pray for Missionaries like ME
Specifics for my situation are in bold
Their prayer letter
Missionaries all write regular prayer letters, so why not ask to receive them? They will keep you up to date with their work and personal needs. Remember, spiritual work can bring tears as well as joy; disappointment as well as hope. Working as a missionary can be lonely, so pray imaginatively for them in their work.
Their personal needs
Pray that your friends will feel at home in a new country, culture and climate.
If the missionary is single, which she is, feelings of loneliness and isolation may creep in. Pray for good, sustaining friendships, for holiday arrangements and time to relax and unwind.
Pray for your friends when it’s time to adjust back to life in their own country. Pray that as they visit churches and supporters they would build strong links and renew relationships.
Pray for my elderly mother back home and for those who support her. Ask that God would look after her during my absence.
Pray for good relationships with national Christian leaders and with fellow workers, some of whom may come from different cultures and countries.
Grasping the language takes time. Pray as your friends learn a new language, understand its nuances and attempt to communicate. Pray against set backs and discouragement.
Pray for their language helpers; people with the courage to correct and advise, and who will encourage your friends in their work.
Pray for spiritual growth, and for their ability to teach, preach, disciple and witness. Pray for vision and for love, and for any resources or literature that’s needed.
Their country
Pray for the leaders in your friends’ country. Pray for freedom to preach the gospel and without automatically being labeled a cult. For political stability.
Find out as much as you can about the country, its history, and what’s happening now. Read the papers. Watch TV. Ask the missionary questions. (I don’t always know what interests you or what you don’t know. So please feel free to ask via email, comments on this blog or phone calls!)
Pray for the Christians to be ‘salt and light’ in their neighborhoods, society or government, and for good relations with those of other faiths.
How to pray each day
If you want to pray for your friends every day, why not use these topics? Choose from these items and use whatever background you have from prayer letters or other sources.
Sunday – Their spiritual life
Time to read and pray. Spiritual growth. Encouragement. Fellowship with local Christians. Good links with sending churches and prayer supporters. For integrity, reliability, consistency. Phil. 1:9-11
Monday – Their personal life
Their relationships with co-workers. Maintaining contact with parents and family back home. Health and strength. Physical and spiritual protection. Regarding health, please pray that the progressive nerve damage due to the tethered spinal cord birth defect would stop and, Lord willing, even reverse itself. Please also pray for discipline in keeping fit which also helps my general physical condition.
Tuesday – Communication
Progress in language study that I can find the time to have consistent study time throughout the week. Adaptation to culture, customs and people. Clarity, creativity and relevance in preaching and teaching. Biblical emphasis. Involvement with those hearing the message.
Wednesday – Relationships
Harmonious relationships with other Christians, church leaders and for Spirit-led contacts to develop new friendships with nationals. For understanding in knowing the time to take courage in being vulnerable.
Thursday – Evangelism
For boldness. For godly, sensitive, Spirit-led ministry. Hungry hearts and the opening of spiritually blind eyes. For the establishing of Christ’s church. For national missionary movements. We live in a highly traditional Catholic area. Anything other than Catholic groups are under great suspicion and labeled a cult without any questions asked or having met with anyone in the other group. So we definitely need wisdom, discernment, and sensitive perseverance.
Friday – Discipling
For patience and empathy. Training young people. Encouraging new believers. Equipping those with leadership gifts. Time coordination with people can be difficult because the basic elements of life take longer here, like shopping, cooking and longer work hours. Please pray that consistent times can be established.
Saturday – Their country
For those in authority. The political situation. Religious freedom. Openness to the gospel. Favor with officials, especially the State church – the Catholic Church. So we are not seen as a threat but just part of God’s Church with a different “flavor” than theirs.
Your part to play – is without a doubt a very important one
God has a part for you to play in mission, building his Church world-wide. No Christian worker, whether at home or overseas, can ‘go it alone’. Missionaries need the support of a team.
When you decide to pray regularly for someone, you join that team. Whether you pray, provide financial support, or work to plant churches, you are playing your part in world mission. As you pray, God uses your prayers to work out his purposes. Our prayers make a difference to the Sovereign Lord. They can make a difference in the world.
It takes discipline and commitment to pray for people who live in a place we know little about, who work in a language we don’t speak, who may eat breakfast while we’re going to bed, and who may not be back for some years. But they don’t stop being our brothers and sisters while they’re away. Let’s not forget them once they’ve gone. Continue to pray for these missionaries.
Remember them. Pray for them every day. Your prayers count.
‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field’ (Matthew 9:37, 38)
This material, although adapted, was taken from this web site For further info and other links please visit this site.
Their prayer letter
Missionaries all write regular prayer letters, so why not ask to receive them? They will keep you up to date with their work and personal needs. Remember, spiritual work can bring tears as well as joy; disappointment as well as hope. Working as a missionary can be lonely, so pray imaginatively for them in their work.
Their personal needs
Pray that your friends will feel at home in a new country, culture and climate.
If the missionary is single, which she is, feelings of loneliness and isolation may creep in. Pray for good, sustaining friendships, for holiday arrangements and time to relax and unwind.
Pray for your friends when it’s time to adjust back to life in their own country. Pray that as they visit churches and supporters they would build strong links and renew relationships.
Pray for my elderly mother back home and for those who support her. Ask that God would look after her during my absence.
Pray for good relationships with national Christian leaders and with fellow workers, some of whom may come from different cultures and countries.
Grasping the language takes time. Pray as your friends learn a new language, understand its nuances and attempt to communicate. Pray against set backs and discouragement.
Pray for their language helpers; people with the courage to correct and advise, and who will encourage your friends in their work.
Pray for spiritual growth, and for their ability to teach, preach, disciple and witness. Pray for vision and for love, and for any resources or literature that’s needed.
Their country
Pray for the leaders in your friends’ country. Pray for freedom to preach the gospel and without automatically being labeled a cult. For political stability.
Find out as much as you can about the country, its history, and what’s happening now. Read the papers. Watch TV. Ask the missionary questions. (I don’t always know what interests you or what you don’t know. So please feel free to ask via email, comments on this blog or phone calls!)
Pray for the Christians to be ‘salt and light’ in their neighborhoods, society or government, and for good relations with those of other faiths.
How to pray each day
If you want to pray for your friends every day, why not use these topics? Choose from these items and use whatever background you have from prayer letters or other sources.
Sunday – Their spiritual life
Time to read and pray. Spiritual growth. Encouragement. Fellowship with local Christians. Good links with sending churches and prayer supporters. For integrity, reliability, consistency. Phil. 1:9-11
Monday – Their personal life
Their relationships with co-workers. Maintaining contact with parents and family back home. Health and strength. Physical and spiritual protection. Regarding health, please pray that the progressive nerve damage due to the tethered spinal cord birth defect would stop and, Lord willing, even reverse itself. Please also pray for discipline in keeping fit which also helps my general physical condition.
Tuesday – Communication
Progress in language study that I can find the time to have consistent study time throughout the week. Adaptation to culture, customs and people. Clarity, creativity and relevance in preaching and teaching. Biblical emphasis. Involvement with those hearing the message.
Wednesday – Relationships
Harmonious relationships with other Christians, church leaders and for Spirit-led contacts to develop new friendships with nationals. For understanding in knowing the time to take courage in being vulnerable.
Thursday – Evangelism
For boldness. For godly, sensitive, Spirit-led ministry. Hungry hearts and the opening of spiritually blind eyes. For the establishing of Christ’s church. For national missionary movements. We live in a highly traditional Catholic area. Anything other than Catholic groups are under great suspicion and labeled a cult without any questions asked or having met with anyone in the other group. So we definitely need wisdom, discernment, and sensitive perseverance.
Friday – Discipling
For patience and empathy. Training young people. Encouraging new believers. Equipping those with leadership gifts. Time coordination with people can be difficult because the basic elements of life take longer here, like shopping, cooking and longer work hours. Please pray that consistent times can be established.
Saturday – Their country
For those in authority. The political situation. Religious freedom. Openness to the gospel. Favor with officials, especially the State church – the Catholic Church. So we are not seen as a threat but just part of God’s Church with a different “flavor” than theirs.
Your part to play – is without a doubt a very important one
God has a part for you to play in mission, building his Church world-wide. No Christian worker, whether at home or overseas, can ‘go it alone’. Missionaries need the support of a team.
When you decide to pray regularly for someone, you join that team. Whether you pray, provide financial support, or work to plant churches, you are playing your part in world mission. As you pray, God uses your prayers to work out his purposes. Our prayers make a difference to the Sovereign Lord. They can make a difference in the world.
It takes discipline and commitment to pray for people who live in a place we know little about, who work in a language we don’t speak, who may eat breakfast while we’re going to bed, and who may not be back for some years. But they don’t stop being our brothers and sisters while they’re away. Let’s not forget them once they’ve gone. Continue to pray for these missionaries.
Remember them. Pray for them every day. Your prayers count.
‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field’ (Matthew 9:37, 38)
This material, although adapted, was taken from this web site For further info and other links please visit this site.
Monday, May 31, 2004
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